Modern-Day Jonah: How I Tried to Run From God, Got My Butt Kicked, and Found New Life
I want to tell a little bit of a story today. My story.
I wasnโt always Courageous Chris.
Ten years ago, I was someone completely different.
I was your typical agnostic, almost atheist. Hated life. Wasnโt happy. Constantly searched for meaning in all the wrong places.
No one knew because I played the part of a Christian for most of my life. Iโd slink into church, slump in the back row like I was hiding from a teacher (when my parents would let me), pretend to worship and listen to every sermon.
Sure, I had friends. Some were authentic believers, others not. And there were fun times. Glimpses of joy.
But inside I was a hollow shell. Miserable. All through middle school and high school.
Your textbook cowardโฆI got addicted to porn, swirled deeper into hopelessness, and ran as fast as I could from God.
Deep down, I knew God was real and Christianity was true. But I fled like Jonah because I wanted my way.
Yetโฆwhen the storm came, I couldnโt escape the piercing rain, blinding wind, and towering waves.
The Ship to Tarshish
One day, I remember sitting in a college classroom. It was during my first degree in Religious Studies and English Lit, and I thought I had everything figured outโฆor at least, I thought I was going the right way.
Thatโs when I met her.
My professor walked into class, and she was the stereotypical blue-haired leftist type. Minus the blue hair and nose ring (she was your average liberal Boomer), she had that permanent scowl, and a kind of rage that radiated everywhere she turned.
She didnโt have to express it either. You could just feel it. Like smoldering lava masked by a petty, fake smile.
Instead of teaching, she just complained about the world, exuding extreme bitterness, or shoved into our brains every feminist talking point in the books.
Every day, sheโd whip the entire classroom into a frenzyโฆher anger infecting the room.
She tore apart the Bible sentence by sentence telling us we couldnโt read it without looking through the eyes of the women in it. Even Jezebel, King Ahabโs vile wife.
โJezebel was just victim of the patriarchy like every other woman,โ sheโd say.
โWomen can do no wrongโ
โGod and men are evilโ
Her bitterness spread like wildfire. Contagious. It even affected me.
Whatโs worse? She wasnโt the only one.
Nearly every professor I had hated God and Christians and beat students over the head with reasons why they should give up. Stop believing. Surrender to the world.
Belly of the Whale
Having been stuffed full from the hefty garbage bag of evolution in high school, I believed every professor. Depression became my nighttime companion; my daytime secret.
But one night, I went to my dorm and felt this heaviness inside me. Pressing down.
There in the dark sat the King James Bible my folks had given me when I was 10 or so. I used to read and memorize it for Bible competitions. Could picture every crumpled page in my mind.
Until then, it was just another book.
That night everything changed.
I came across this verse:
โBut sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: andย beย ready always toย giveย an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fearโฆโ
- 1 Peter 3:15
And instantly realize 3 things
I hated God because He is real
He was my only chance at hope
The Bible is reasonable and trustworthy
If the disciples used Scripture and logic to face the most ardent ancient philosophers, it and its Author had to have power beyond imagination to transform me and overcome the worst skepticism.
I read the verse once. Then again. And again.
And suddenly, tears started flowing down my face.
For the first time in my life, I understood Iโd been living a lie. Running away when I shouldโve walked beside Him. Pulling and fighting when I shouldโve surrendered.
That verse stayed with me for weeks. The more I read, the more I reflected, the more I realized how wrong Iโd been.
Because I finally understood the Truth.
Off to Nineveh
From that moment on, my entire worldview started to crumble and rebuild itself.
I read apologetics books and my Bible regularly. Consumed the bread of life; purged my soul of the trash heap modern education supplanted in my brain.
I ditched porn and found the hope Iโd been dismissing my whole life. Surrounded myself with like-minded friends.
When I went back to class and looked aroundโฆsuddenly everything feltโฆoff. I couldnโt understand why everyone seemed so angry, so lost, when they could be so close to God.
That inner turmoil transformed into purpose.
I started talking to atheists on campusโฆnot to win arguments, but to understand how they thought. The change in me was so drastic, I had to figure out why others couldnโt see it too.
I took notes. Pages and pages of notes from those conversations.
Their objections
Their logic
Their pain
And I realized something powerful: They all believed the same lies I used to tell myself.
Those notes became my mission to Nineveh.
I went to seminary. Studied. Prepared. Tilled the soil of faith and intellect.
And then I took to the battlefield online.
Everything I learned became the foundation for what would later become Allegiant Faith Network and the โ30-Day Evangelistโ guide.
Why I Created 30-Day Evangelist
Because I know there are students out thereโฆsitting in those same classroomsโฆbeing lectured by those same bitter professors, feeling the same emptiness I once felt.
And itโs not just in the classroom anymore. Now, that same bitterness is everywhere.
I wish I had this roadmap back then.
Inside โ30-Day Evangelist,โ I teach you how to:
Help people find Truth through love and reason.
Convert even the most hardened hearts through conversation
Defend the faith against the fiercest critics
And most importantly, heal your own heartโฆnot just win petty arguments
My Invitation to You
I know what itโs like to be the skeptic.
I know what itโs like to be the one in the room who thinks heโs too smart for faith.
Because I was that person.
And youโre here because something I wrote interested you or someone else pointed you my way.
I donโt believe in chance.
If youโve ever struggled to share your faithโฆ
If youโve ever wanted to love people better but didnโt know howโฆ
Join me inside โ30-Day Evangelist.โ
Iโll teach you how to speak the Truth with courage and compassionโฆbecause it was love that changed everything for me
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This is FIRE
I'm happy for you Chris. It's wonderful whenever I hear stories of the younger generation finding faith and rejecting so much of the hatred being propagated on places like college campuses. My story happened much later...this year, as a matter of fact. It wasn't that I didn't believe, it's just that it wasn't backed up by anything. I couldn't describe WHY I believed. Good luck to you fellow believer!