No More Mr. Nice Jesus
Christ is More Than Kindness
Thereโs been an unhealthy trend lately of weirdos condemning genuine Christ-followers for being mean.
The condemners equate the latter with hate, although none of them explain why.
One of them recently harangued me during a conversation last week after expressing disdain for the destructive behaviors of overweight people in our age.
The approach I took admittedly wasnโt nice because I was shaming people for practices like eating unhealthy foods, overeating, watching from the corner while their buddies workout, and so on.
My accuser thought that was hateful, but refused to explain when I asked why. Instead, he asked what was loving about my shaming. This is what I said:
I โshamedโ the hypothetical โfatโ guy because heโs unhealthy and killing himself. And because I love him as a human being designed in the image of God, I hate seeing him eat unhealthily and fail to work out and care for his body. Shaming can be an act of love, believe it or not.
Oh, but I forgot. Weโre not supposed to be like the Jesus who flipped tables and drove money changers out of the Temple with a whip for turning it into a den of thieves, stealing from the masses to line their own pockets.
Weโre just supposed to be like the hippy, always nice, never-causing-controversies Jesus, who is a complete unbiblical invention and doesnโt distinguish between right and wrong.
If anyone does something harming themselves weโre just supposed to let them be. โLive and let live.โ
Give me a moment while I go give my son the good news heโs allowed to get away with everything now.
The explanation is emotionally weighted, sure. But necessarily so. Too many confuse love with niceness and forget that the Savior himself wasnโt always kind.
And the man who confronted me was no different. In response, he offered a series of questions I refused to answer until he told me what was hateful about my original shaming...a request that remains eternally afloat in the ether.
However, now I find it important to address his questions to put to rest (hopefully once and for all) the misconception that Christians are supposed to be forever nice.
Why is shame the first tool you reach for? Is that how Jesus taught us to love one another? With mean-spirited comments and shame?
The questions make many presumptions:
Shame is the first tool I reached for.
Jesus never taught shame as a tool of love.
Mean-spirited comments and shame are bad.
These are presuppositions my accuser never once substantiated with evidence. Letโs deal with them in order.
1) The original comment was this: โThat dudeโs comment is what one expects from the chubby guy hiding in the corner of the gym with a bag of fries while his โbuddiesโ pump iron.โ
It was in response to a note shared by a friend. The note quoted a line in an article written by a man that said โWomen donโt need men anymoreโ with the addendum from my friend, โI can smell the lack of testosterone from here.โ
The note and my comment were contrived to condemn the lack of masculinity in our present culture.
Men and women are equally important, designed by God to complement each other, but men are actively, openly hated and mistreated, thanks to the spread of feminist ideology. And a result of said spread is men not caring for themselves physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
The hypothetical โchubby guyโ is representative of that horrible side effect. One way men naturally encourage one another is to call each other out when we see a friend doing wrong. Itโs built into our design. A healthy sociological feature that makes us distinct from women.
But notice how โchubby guyโ wasnโt the only one condemned. I place โbuddiesโ in quotations because no self-respecting friend would let a brother sit out a workout. Speaking from experience, real buddies would keep the pressure on. Help and encourage their friend to take good care of his health by lifting and eating right.
So, in the scenario, shaming is inherently healthy, productive, and necessary...both ways.
Also, since this is a hypothetical, how does my accuser know that shaming is the first tool used, since there is no beginning or end to the story?
2) Jesus is God-made-flesh, our Designer. The definition of perfection. Are we to assume that he wants men to ignore their design in order to take on the passive role of nice nurturer, a role biologically belonging to women?
Well, thankfully we donโt have to make that assumption because Jesus and Scripture both denounce it.
Jesus in the Temple is just one instance of him resorting to โmean-spiritednessโ to defend the truth.
โChrist Driving the Money Changers Out of the Templeโ Valentin de Boulogne (1591-1632)
He was always bashing heads with the Pharisees. And he never played nice. He called them out for their hypocrisy (acting holy while living unrepentant lives). One of his favorite descriptions for them was โblind guides.โ
Matthew 23 and Luke 11 are famous for containing โwoesโ against the religious leaders (Pharisees and Saducees), 7 and 6 โwoesโ respectively. Both passages ruthlessly rip the leaders to shreds.
Now, one could say Jesusโs hostility was saved for the leaders and not the people. Rightly directed at the leaders because they were the ones who shouldโve known better.
But note how virtually every speech Jesus gave was in public, in front of the people and the leaders. He wanted the people to see and know the right way and follow it. The public declaration starting his ministry in Matthew 4 was โRepent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand,โ directed at everyone.
By implication, it follows that anyone who comes to know God and his will should be held accountable for failure to repent, even if that means being confronted through โmean-spiritedness.โ
Jesusโs rebukes to correct wrong behavior and fake character, therefore, were perceived by those with eyes to see and ears to hear as loving corrections. Void of hate.
3) Lastly, the accuser assumes that mean-spiritedness and/or rebuke are bad. Without first making a case for their wrongness.
He proceeds as if said wrongness is self-evident, when itโs nothing of the sort.
For example, if my toddler child is about to touch the hot stove and I respond, โDo what you want, buddy. Weโll talk about your feelings after,โ Iโm sure heโd stop and reconsider his actions, right?
OF COURSE NOT. Heโd keep going and burn his hand. Unless I physically intervene or create enough urgency to get his attention and make him understand the danger.
If the exchange isnโt our first rodeo, I may even get exasperated or angry with my son because he failed to heed my instruction and almost hurt himself.
Would me getting angry make me any less loving? By no means, as Paul would say.
When someone is heading down a wrong path that leads to death or serious harm, the correct response is to correct them and make them change course (aka repent). An objective fact of life we all know.
Yet, when it comes to spiritual harm, suddenly modern โChristiansโ draw the line and say, โYou just need to be nice all the time. Live and let live.โ
That is a lie from the pit of hell, as damning as โDid God really say...?โ And Satan smiles his razor teeth every time we buy in.
Discipline in the name of Truth, whose name is Christ Jesus, requires courage, resolve, resilience, and sometimes stern or even aggressive reaction. Reactions demonstrated by God Most High throughout Scripture. Time and again.
The same God who became flesh, dwelt among us, and died so we could live.
Rebuke against the wrongdoer is the enduring cornerstone of justice.
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So the ends justify the means? Is hitting your kid when he misbehaves also an act of love? Are Muslim honor killings an act of love?
